Just for fun I am trying to "name" this season of life we are coming out of...ummm...a constipated alien on a roller coaster!!!! let me elaborate...being constipated feels awful, being a person in a foreign land could bring confusion, and a roller coaster, well that's kind a self explanatory... ups and downs twists and turns, all while having a pound of poop in your tummy.
This is the best way to describe what this time in my life has physically and emotionally felt like.
Pain. I have talked to some people about the pain in there lives and they all come to the same conclusion, they didn't want to experience the pain. I don't think anyone wants it, but we can get to a place where we know it produces something good in us that otherwise would not occur. More so God desires to teach, grow and change his children, just as we desire the same for our little ones. Pain is different for each person, each family...the death of a child, spouse, parent, friend...divorce, past regrets, the betrayal of others, financial ruin...the list goes on and on, and each circumstance that causes us pain really effects us, but we do have a choice as to HOW it effects us!
My pain in this season has been due to a broken relationship...my marriage relationship. the Lord is gracious in giving me glimpses of hope for our future so that I can withstand the pressure of it now. We are working on building our friendship; really trying different ways to reconnect. I have learned how to forgive, and how not forgiving wrecks the soul.
On my knees, crying to the Lord, "is this what you want for me?...this is it?" It fell very quite, I stopped to listen for His voice, and he said, " I like you and Scott together, it pleases me, I want this marriage to be. Hearing that was enough for me, and it changed the way I thought about my marriage to Scott, and I knew I could wait on the Lord and He would be faithful to restore; he has plans for me and Scott that only work if we are together, and I feel like we will know more about those plans in the near future.
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